|
Post by wncbravesfan on Jun 2, 2018 13:50:47 GMT -5
Million Dollar idea: tanning beds that pop you out like a toaster when you're finished.
|
|
|
Post by wncbravesfan on Jun 2, 2018 13:51:39 GMT -5
Ask your doctor if blaming Ambien for your racism is right for you.
|
|
|
Post by wncbravesfan on Jun 2, 2018 13:52:18 GMT -5
When I was in our laundry room today, I saw that our ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it.
|
|
|
Post by wncbravesfan on Jun 3, 2018 13:38:45 GMT -5
I wish there was some kind of signal drivers could use on their car to notify other drivers that they are turning.
|
|
|
Post by wncbravesfan on Jun 3, 2018 21:46:56 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by wncbravesfan on Jun 4, 2018 13:38:28 GMT -5
Instead of just throwing away the box your iPhone came in, consider recycling it by using it as a casket for a bird.
|
|
|
Post by wncbravesfan on Jun 4, 2018 13:38:43 GMT -5
I'm probably the toughest guy in this Trader Joe's who is buying "Tea Tree Tingle" shampoo.
|
|
|
Post by wncbravesfan on Jun 4, 2018 14:09:27 GMT -5
It's getting that Time Of Year where I start Liking All Of My Friends Posts who have a POOL.
|
|
|
Post by wncbravesfan on Jun 5, 2018 6:46:34 GMT -5
When my wife falls asleep in a public place, I shake her and yell "DON'T DIE ON ME!" and then people always clap when she wakes up.
|
|
|
Post by wncbravesfan on Jun 5, 2018 20:07:44 GMT -5
ME: What's new? FRIEND: My wife left me for some guy at that rental car company ME: Hertz? FRIEND: Yeah [holding back tears] it really does
|
|
|
Post by wncbravesfan on Jun 5, 2018 20:12:17 GMT -5
I bet it’s called Almond Milk because no one would buy Nut Juice.
|
|
|
Post by wncbravesfan on Jun 5, 2018 20:14:07 GMT -5
We were so poor when I was growing up, one Christmas I got a battery with a note on it saying, "toys not included".
|
|
|
Post by wncbravesfan on Jun 6, 2018 17:44:25 GMT -5
The only President who didn't blame the previous administration for all his troubles was George Washington.
|
|
|
Post by wncbravesfan on Jun 7, 2018 7:47:28 GMT -5
I'm going to start tackling random guys in football jerseys saying "look how he's dressed. He was asking for it!"
|
|
|
Post by wncbravesfan on Jun 7, 2018 8:04:25 GMT -5
Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration and 2% attention to detail.
|
|