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Post by wncbravesfan on Apr 28, 2018 18:40:18 GMT -5
> WORST FOURSOME IN GOLF HISTORY
> 1 STORMY DANIELS > 2 O. J. SIMPSON > 3 TED KENNEDY > 4 BILL CLINTON > > WHY ? YOU ASK > > 1 STORMY IS A HOOKER. > > 2 O. J. IS A SLICER. > > 3 TED CAN'T DRIVE OVER WATER, and > > 4 BILL CAN'T REMEMBER WHICH HOLE HE PLAYED LAST
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Post by wncbravesfan on Apr 29, 2018 12:47:50 GMT -5
It only takes one slow walking person in the grocery store to destroy the illusion that I am a nice person.
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Post by wncbravesfan on Apr 29, 2018 21:27:24 GMT -5
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It's not hard.
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Post by wncbravesfan on Apr 30, 2018 8:54:21 GMT -5
If every U.S. sports team converted to metric, Americans would understand the metric system by the next game.
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Post by wncbravesfan on Apr 30, 2018 8:57:31 GMT -5
The bad news: I took the wrong medication today. The good news: For the next 3 months I'm protected against heartworms and fleas.
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Post by wncbravesfan on Apr 30, 2018 21:22:10 GMT -5
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Post by wncbravesfan on May 1, 2018 19:38:27 GMT -5
I'm at the age where a "lifetime warranty" isn't the incentive it used to be.
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Post by Hart's Middle Finger on May 1, 2018 21:31:34 GMT -5
A guy in a leather jacket told me that if I gave him a hundred dollars he'd give me three hundred back in a month. It sounded too good to be true, but then I realized that it was just a Fonzi scheme. Heeeyyyyyyyyyy now
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Post by wncbravesfan on May 2, 2018 12:24:01 GMT -5
I wonder how long I’d be on hold if my call wasn’t important to them...
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Post by wncbravesfan on May 2, 2018 18:45:12 GMT -5
It looks like T-Mobile and Sprint are getting married and, to prove that things won't change, there will be no reception.
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Post by Hart's Middle Finger on May 2, 2018 19:51:31 GMT -5
When my kids act up in public, I love to yell "wait till we get home and I tell dad!"
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Post by wncbravesfan on May 3, 2018 13:18:53 GMT -5
This woman said to me, "I’m done with dating sites. I'm now focusing on pizza delivery guys because at least I know they have a job, a car, and pizza."
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Post by wncbravesfan on May 5, 2018 19:07:38 GMT -5
When Robert E. Lee was in high school, I wonder if he was voted Most Likely to Secede.
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Post by wncbravesfan on May 6, 2018 15:58:53 GMT -5
In my defense, my wife's text asking me to "drop a load in the washing machine" was confusing.
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Post by wncbravesfan on May 7, 2018 21:35:13 GMT -5
The real trouble with reality is that there´s no background music.
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