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Post by jahgentle on Oct 31, 2018 7:28:59 GMT -5
Fa-yen asked the monk Hsüan-tzu why he had never asked him any questions about Zen. The monk explained that he had already attained his understanding from another master. Pressed by Fa-yen for an explanation, the monk said that when he had asked his teacher, “What is the meaning of Buddhism?” he had received the answer, “Ping-ting comes for fire!”
"A good answer!" said Fa-yen. "But I’m sure you don’t understand it."
"Ping-ting," explained the monk, "is the god of fire. For him to be seeking for fire is like myself, seeking the Buddha. I’m the Buddha already, and no asking is needed."
"Just as I thought!" laughed Fa-yen. "You didn’t get it."
The monk said, “Well, how would you answer?”
"Go ahead, ask me." said Fa-yen.
"What is the meaning of Buddhism?" inquired the monk.
"Ping-ting comes for fire!"
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Post by Fumbduckery on Oct 31, 2018 19:34:37 GMT -5
Ping-Ting is such a cool name.
Ignoring the fact that the singer's name is BOB, Paulo Joe Jingy is a pretty cool name too.
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Post by jahgentle on Nov 5, 2018 8:37:13 GMT -5
One evening as Shichiri Kojun was reciting sutras a thief with a sharp sword entered, demanding wither his money or his life.
Shichiri told him: "Do not disturb me. You can find the money in that drawer." Then he resumed his recitation.
A little while afterwards he stopped and called: "Don't take it all. I need some to pay taxes with tomorrow."
The intruder gathered up most of the money and started to leave. "Thank a person when you receive a gift," Shichiri added. The man thanked him and made off.
A few days afterwards the fellow was caught and confessed, among others, the offense against Shichiri. When Shichiri was called as a witness he said: "This man is no thief, at least as far as I am concerned. I gave him the money and he thanked me for it."
After he had finished his prison term, the man went to Shichiri and became his disciple.
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Post by Fumbduckery on Nov 5, 2018 14:50:55 GMT -5
One evening as Shichiri Kojun was reciting sutras a thief with a sharp sword entered, demanding wither his money or his life. Shichiri told him: "Do not disturb me. You can find the money in that drawer." Then he resumed his recitation. A little while afterwards he stopped and called: "Don't take it all. I need some to pay taxes with tomorrow." The intruder gathered up most of the money and started to leave. "Thank a person when you receive a gift," Shichiri added. The man thanked him and made off. A few days afterwards the fellow was caught and confessed, among others, the offense against Shichiri. When Shichiri was called as a witness he said: "This man is no thief, at least as far as I am concerned. I gave him the money and he thanked me for it." After he had finished his prison term, the man went to Shichiri and became his disciple. That’s a little different than I would have handled it. I would have called him a birth and blown him away with my .357. But then I’m no Ping-Ting.
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Post by jahgentle on Nov 5, 2018 16:09:36 GMT -5
ZenUckery
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Post by Fumbduckery on Nov 5, 2018 17:26:55 GMT -5
I meant to say “bitch” not “birth” but I struggle typing on my damn phone.
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Post by jahgentle on Nov 6, 2018 9:28:24 GMT -5
Tanzan and Ekido were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling.
Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.
"Come on, girl" said Tanzan at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.
Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself. "We monks don't go near females," he told Tanzan, "especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?"
"I left the girl there," said Tanzan. "Are you still carrying her?"
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Post by Fumbduckery on Nov 6, 2018 15:38:34 GMT -5
Haha, Tarzan put that bitch in his place. Never mess with the king of the jungle.
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Post by jahgentle on Nov 7, 2018 8:35:48 GMT -5
Yamaoka Tesshu, as a young student of Zen, visited one master after another. He called upon Dokuon of Shokoku.
Desiring to show his attainment, he said: "The mind, Buddha, and sentient beings, after all, do not exist. The true nature of phenomena is emptiness. There is no relaization, no delusion, no sage, no mediocrity. There is no giving and nothing to be received."
Dokuon, who was smoking quietly, said nothing. Suddenly he whacked Yamaoka with his bamboo pipe. This made the youth quite angry.
"If nothing exists," inquired Dokuon, "where did this anger come from?"
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Post by Fumbduckery on Nov 7, 2018 12:22:29 GMT -5
Zerkropoleze said to Narglefrap nothing from nothing leaves nothing. Ya gotta have something. If you want to be with me.
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Post by jahgentle on Nov 8, 2018 6:47:58 GMT -5
A soldier named Nobushige came to Hakuin, and asked: "Is there really a paradise and a hell?"
"Who are you?" inquired Hakuin.
"I am a samurai," the warrior replied.
"You, a soldier!" exclaimed Hakuin. "What kind of ruler would have you as his guard? Your face looks like that of a beggar."
Nobushige became so angry that he began to draw his sword, but Hakuin continued: "So you have a sword! Your weapon is probably much too dull to cut off my head."
As Nobushige drew his sword Hakuin remarked: "Here open the gates of hell!"
At these words the samurai, perceiving the master's discipline, sheathed his sword and bowed.
"Here open the gates of paradise," said Hakuin.
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Post by Fumbduckery on Nov 8, 2018 7:33:59 GMT -5
You left off part of the ending-it should read:
"Here open the gates of paradise," said Hakuin, as he summoned the hookers and whipped out his stash of cocaine.
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Post by jahgentle on Nov 9, 2018 6:31:53 GMT -5
You left off part of the ending-it should read: "Here open the gates of paradise," said Hakuin, as he summoned the hookers and whipped out his stash of cocaine. well I'm just a student of this and you are the master so I leave that to you...it's a respect thing
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Post by jahgentle on Nov 9, 2018 8:58:45 GMT -5
A monk asked Zhao Zhou to teach him. Zhao Zhou asked, “Have you eaten your meal?” The monk replied, “Yes, I have.” “Then go wash your bowl,” said Zhao Zhou. At that moment, the monk was enlightened.
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Post by Fumbduckery on Nov 9, 2018 9:13:26 GMT -5
You left off part of the ending-it should read: "Here open the gates of paradise," said Hakuin, as he summoned the hookers and whipped out his stash of cocaine. well I'm just a student of this and you are the master so I leave that to you...it's a respect thing How dare you not address me as “sensei!” For enlightenment you must now rake your ballsack across a cheese grater for 15 minutes!
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